Anxiety · Personal

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself.

Hello!

I’m K.D. I’m currently a first year college student working towards a computer science degree and an English degree. Why?

Well, because I love to read and write and as someone once said “English majors are people who never grew up after age five. They still love their stories. ”

Someone also once said that people are only ever English majors because they don’t understand logic for philosophy, numbers for math, etc. I guess I defy those statements. Don’t get me wrong, I hate numbers. I struggle through all my mandatory math classes and you will never see me voluntarily registering for an extra one and although I understand logic and can follow it, I like being illogical, I like thinking illogically sometimes it’s out-of-the-box.

So…why am I a computer science major? I’ve always had a secret fascination with how things work.  Computers frustrate me because I can’t wrap my head around how, and why they work. So, I’m studying them because I want to understand,  I want to know the how and why. I want to be able to create programs. I want to learn languages I’ll never have to speak and that excites me. It’s what keeps me from dropping the major.
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I am the greatest…the greatest what, I don’t know yet. But I am the greatest and I can handle everything life throws at me.

I keep xanax in my pocket, it helps me get through the day because you never know what life is going to hurl your way and although it’s in my pocket I usually don’t take it. It sits there to remind me that I have it but I don’t need it. It’s wrapped in a tissue and that tells me that I can handle this without the drug.

I walk too fast, I think too much, I hope too much.
I don’t study enough. I tremble with fear at most everything, but I’m also incredibly strong.  I don’t talk loud enough, so most people don’t hear me. I talk too fast, so most people don’t understand me. It’s like I have to talk fast to get my word in, to say what I have to say before I forget it, before it stops being clever.
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I have the best roommate in the world, the bestest friends, And even greater parents.

I have my eyes on the prize and nothing is going to stop me from succeeding. Not my Anxiety. Not illness. Not other people.

I have yet to conform to the college study and sleep habits. I can’t study at 11:30pm. My academic brain shuts off and there isn’t anything I’ve learned to do yet to fix that.

I love purple, and Lilo and Stitch. Gilmore Girls is the best and Scrubs is a close second.

I love quotes, I love people, I love this blog and how widely it’s seen.

Thank you for reading, thank you for your comments. It’s really truly humbling to see how many different countries my posts are viewed from.

~K.D.

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