There is a song by 5 Seconds Of Summer called Amnesia which has really been speaking to me lately and actually inspired me to write a series of poems.
“Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?”
“I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things”
These specific lyrics have been very relevant to my recent state of mind and to the poem I’m about to share. But first, a little explanation. I was in a relationship for six months, he was my first love and one day he decided that he couldn’t be with me anymore, that he “loved me in a way that doesn’t require a relationship.”, whatever that means. Since then the road has been rocky for me. I go long periods never thinking about him and then I have days where everything I do reminds me of him. I guess the biggest thing is that I remember everything. Every “stupid little thing”. I could list them but I won’t put myself through the heartache of thinking about them.
Anyway, over the past few weeks I’ve been having dreams where I get into accidents that put me into comas. I always wake up in them but every time I do, I have selective amnesia. For example, I forget previous romantic relationships and events surrounding them but remember everything else. This is always followed by me returning to college with no recollection of the heartache I endured the previous year and everything is fine. Obviously I would never want to actually get into an accident, there are way too many variables and it’s just messy. But while I’m in those dreams, I feel a peace that escapes me everywhere else. Which makes me wish that I could have amnesia in real life. Stupid, I know.
Someday I’ll look back and want to remember my “firsts” but for now I think life would be a heck of a lot easier if I could forget everything.
Here is the first poem in the series that I wrote. It’s called I Wonder and I’m really proud of it.
Please share your thoughts, I’d really like to know what you think and feel about this post and my poem. This poem is my creative property and it cannot be used elsewhere without my expressed written permission.