Adventures of Shy Girl · Anxiety · Personal

Mind Numbing Games | Adventures Of Shy Girl

Hello fellow adventurers,

In the past, I’ve discussed methods that I use to combat my anxiety: watching funny T.V. shows, talking with friends and family, coloring, and playing games. Today, I want to go into more detail about the games.

Before I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and put into treatment, I suffered a lot of physical symptoms that were unresponsive to medications specifically designed to stop those symptoms. At night, I would wake up several times with severe nausea and stomach pain; I never threw up though, not once. The doctors did test after test and each time they came back normal. I was suffering from terrible aliments but I was, apparently, as healthy as one can be. So during those months where I had no answers, I lost a lot of sleep. I spent a large chunk of my nights in the bathroom just sitting on the floor nauseous and terrified to move. If you’ve never experienced this, it gets boring. Take my word for it. One day, I begun to do the Sudoku puzzles that came in the newspapers everyday, and then downloaded an app on my phone.

This app was kind of my saving grace; it did more for my nausea than any of the medicines I ever tried. It’s called Sudoku Master by CanadaDroid and it’s great. The game has four difficulty levels and two Modes, Classic and Casual. If it was even possible, after discovering this app I became glued to my phone even more. I spent the majority of my phone usage from spring of my senior year through mid-fall semester of last year, playing this game. Then I discovered 2048 which is my latest and greatest obsession.

To do well in both of these games you have to focus, and really think your moves through. I guess what I’m really saying is that it’s difficult to focus on these games and something else at the same time. They also can get a bit repetitive. After a while of playing Sudoku, I’ve found myself questioning why I’m even playing it, “I’m just placing numbers on a board. What’s the point?”. The point is this: once I started playing Sudoku, I could play a game or two and then get off the bathroom floor and crawl back into bed. Instead of spending hours down there, my stomach pains and nausea would go away in under 45 minutes. I didn’t know it then because I wasn’t educated on anxiety and mental illness but I had found a way to cope; a way to numb my mind into forgetting whatever it was that was causing me to subconsciously freak out.

Even now, although I’ve been in treatment for over a year, I still get anxious and still get stomach pains. Luckily, these apps still help. I get “playfully” teased about playing 2048 all of the time and I don’t mind, it doesn’t hurt my feelings or anything. When I play it though, it’s usually because I’m anxious and need to distract myself. Last year it was Sudoku, this year it’s 2048. When you find something that works, you don’t just stop using it.

I’m not trying to be rude when I randomly start playing them but, I am trying and (mostly)succeeding at coping with a difficult environment that brews inside of me daily.

What do you use as a distraction? Are there any apps that you find helpful? Let me know and please share for other readers! Until next time!

~K.D.

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5 thoughts on “Mind Numbing Games | Adventures Of Shy Girl

  1. Not that I am glad you have to experience GAD, but it is nice to know I’m not alone. I went to a doctor in 7th grade to figure out why I freaked out so much. She had said most people do not like talking about it or admitting they even have it. It was hard pinpointing what was my actual anxiety and what was coming from the person I am. When I started REALLY using the internet, I came across others who have this and it has made things easier for me. Basically, I just want to say thank you for talking about this. It does help. When I end up having a panic attack, I must try to focus on something else. I chew gum or start singing a song in my head. Word searches use to be my go to escape, but they no longer work.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing part of your story. Talking about my anxiety, helps alleviate some of it but it also does what you pointed out, when I write about my experiences others can relate and just knowing that someone out there has experienced the same thing or something similar is just so cool. I mean, it sucks that anxiety disorders exist, but it’s just amazing because it’s extremely hard to explain anxiety to people who don’t have it and that can be super isolating. However, when people who have anxiety share their stories bridges are formed and the fog gets lifted, you know? Suddenly we aren’t on tiny islands all by ourselves; suddenly we’re part of a network of islands that are all connected. Bridges mean communication, and communication means support which is EVERYTHING. I’m so glad that I’ve helped you feel like you’re not alone because you aren’t, we’re just stuck in a time where people don’t know how to talk about it openly. Even I don’t open up completely on this blog about everything that happens with my anxiety.

      I don’t know if you’ve ever watched Scrubs the TV show but last year I was having multiple panic attacks a day. It seemed like everything would set me off but the show really helped me, it’s so corny but also smart and funny because of that I was able to focus entirely on the show and the panic would dissipate.

      Thank you for reading and thank you for opening up and sharing part of your story with me and everyone else. It really means a lot. I go so long without hearing any feedback on my posts it’s really nice hearing from people. That said, I wrote a really long response. I’m so sorry. Hopefully, though, you can tell how passionate I am about my blog, building those bridges, and lifting that horrible fog.

      Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and commenting, again. Seriously. Thank you.
      ~K.D.

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      1. I do not speak of it as much as I feel I should either, but for me it is my normal. I just forget that not everybody experiences this type of anxiety. I never thought of anxiety as the island and bridges. That is something to remember, ha!
        Yes, I have seen a few Scrubs episodes. They are definitely corny! I find laughing the anxiety away helps. If that is available to me.
        You are welcome for the feedback. I can understand the goals you have for this blog and the passion. Hopefully you get to lift that fog!

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