Adventures of Shy Girl · Anxiety · Personal

The “selfie” Hiatus | Adventures Of Shy Girl

Hello fellow adventurers.

I have always been an advocate for selfies. They’re a great source of confidence plus they support positive body image. However, I will be going on a “selfie” hiatus and here’s why:

The day started off great; I slept in and then had a good lunch with friends. I mean, there were cookies that were almost as big as my head(which is saying something because my head is physically quite large). As it was the last day of break I had to start returning to my duties which includes working for a few hours. I love my work-study job because I get to help/support the main IT and web staff as they switch to a new website. Which means, I’m using both my love for computers and English everyday.

While working, I was asked to mark up some documents(edit them), and email my suggestions back to the creator. Easy right? I love editing so this went seamlessly until it was time to press send. I’ve never met the guy that I was sending the email to, and basically I know nothing about him. As I was preparing to press the button my heart started pounding and my throat began to go dry. In slow motion, I felt my arm raise and my thumb and index finger gripped at the short hairs that make up my eyebrows. I started to pull and in the moment I felt sweet satisfaction. It hurt, but it was occupying my hands. Each time my hand pulled away from my face it brought multiple brown strands of hair with it. I was conscious of my actions but I didn’t want to stop. It felt too good.

By the end of my work day, I was covered in those tiny hairs. As my fingers traced where my eyebrows had been the dread set in. I rushed to the bathroom, and faced an image strikingly similar to the horror of last year; when I first realized I had trichotillomania.

Trichotillomania- A disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out body hair.

Chunks of both eyebrows were missing and from certain angles I look as though I’m undergoing cancer treatment. My eyebrows had finally begun to fill in and look normal, too. People would even comment on how minor my trichotillomania must be.

How very wrong they were. 

So I am taking a “selfie” hiatus. Like the hiatus bands take, I don’t know how long it’ll be. Perhaps this won’t even last a week and I’ll be back to taking copious amounts of selfies in no time. Maybe though, it’ll last until my eyebrows begin to fill back in. I feel like I’m falling from a steep cliff. Will there be a branch to catch me? Will I find a lucky jut of land to crash into before rock bottom? I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

Until next time,

~K.D.

 

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