Hello fellow adventurers!
It’s been a while. Throughout this semester, I’ve been learning my roommates tap dance to All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor. Tomorrow night, we will be performing the dance in front of a packed crowd. Let’s rewind a bit though.
Never in a million years did I ever think that I would a) dance b) tap dance c) perform in front of large crowds, twice! Even more surprising, I’m not all that anxious about it. This past week has been “tech week”, basically we practice on stage, and then run through it a bunch of times with lights, sound, and costumes. My very first time doing it on the stage for other club members was intense. I was on the verge of a panic attack before, during, and after it. When we started my legs were shaking so hard I thought I was about to fall over. When it was over I was filled with so much nervous energy, I had to call my parents to talk about random things.
From then on, in a way, it’s been easier. My legs still shake but not as noticeably as that first day. Each time, my anxiety is fine until it gets really close, when it would get unbearable. I guess, this is the spot where people might say that I’m relaying on medication too much, but right before the rehearsals start I take anxiety medicine to slow my racing heart and thoughts.
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Even though it’s not over yet, I’m extremely proud of myself and feel really accomplished. I’ve always wanted to dance but so many factors always stepped in the way.
I’m so far out of my comfort zone that I have to squint to see it in the distance. Being this far out has given me a new perspective and I’m intrigued about how it’s going to affect my future. There were so many times that I wanted to throw in the towel, and many nights that I lay awake terrified that today would come and I wouldn’t be able to dance on stage.
I couldn’t be prouder of myself and this experience is evidence towards my belief; “I have anxiety, I’m not anxiety”. I can do whatever I put my mind to, and so can you!
Have you ever done something so out of your comfort zone? How did it turn out and what did you learn from it? Do you like dancing? Let me know!
Until next time!